Disillusionment

Not doing too well with this blog. I have become disillusioned with nursing and this has flowed on to nursing education.

Since a near burnout a couple of months ago I have reevaluated what I am doing and have taken a step back from work. I have said for a while now that I will not bang my head against a brick wall for any length of time (why I did it for any time is unfathomable), but I let it happen for so long that I almost did permanent damage! Almost, but not quite. Fortunately I recognised the signs and with the help of a great GP I had some time off.

During the month I was away from the situation I could see things more clearly and realised that I had become so caught up in work, not necessarily because I wanted it that way, but because I couldn't see any way around the totally unrealistic workload other than taking work home and staying late. My boss knew and condoned this - I wan't paid over time but kept a log of hours worked and, when time permitted, could take those hours, which put more pressure on when I was back at work because things would bank up.

That's all stopped now. I've reduced my hours, am getting in to my research project and doing the writing I kept putting off. And a real bonus is that I have time for relationships.My reduced hours status is officially temporary but after only a month I have no intention of working full time again - if I haven't learned a lesson after two near burnouts..well, what can I say? So...I am feeling a lot more positive, many people are commenting on how well I look - this puts a smile on my face as I wonder how awful I must have looked before!!

My perspective has changed and so have my priorities. I do all I can while I am at work. The obstacles (brick walls) are still there but I recognise them now for what they are and I steer clear of them. If I can't go around then I just back off. Perhaps some would consider this to be admitting defeat. I consider it the getting of wisdom! Still disillusioned with nursing but not with all nurses. There is hope!

Hot summers and challenging work environments

It's nearly 9pm here in Tasmania. We have had hot, hot weather and it's so hard to sleep - makes it hard to work too! But...this is good for Tassie - very summery. The windows are open, the fans are going and we are trying to get the air moving so we can rest tonight.

Work is fun. It was so hot yesterday that my arm was sticking to the mouse pad! At that stage I decided it was time to leave. We have a beautiful office - view wise. Everyone who comes in says it's the best office in the building but....although we have fantastic views - we have 2 walls of windows - we don't have airconditioning in summer and we don't have heating in winter. So, in summer, it's like having our personal sauna, and in winter it's a case of wear the thermals and make sure the knee rug is available as well!
The afternoons can be very exciting in our office. That's when visitors to the nearby ward congregate outside the door - the only entrance and exit - and vie with each other for the award for the loudest person. What they don't know is that there is only a thin piece of plaster board between them and us. For us that means whispered conversations on the 'phone or between the two of us occupying the office - for confidentiality reasons of course. The only problem being that because the visitors are so loud we can't hear each other because of the noise. Where does that leave us? Why emailing each other across the few feet that separate us -what else? As for the phone conversations....if we can't ask the person to call back we just have to hope no one outside knows who we are talking to :o)

Not so long ago we heard a woman frantically calling the name of a child. We knew there must be something wrong and being a nurse you can't just ignore what seems to be a cry for help. So when we opened the door to find a prostrate child on the lounge and a frantic mother leaning over him we realised that all that Basic Life Support training was not in vain -yes! the educators got to call a Code Blue for real. The team was there in no time - excellent reponse and off he went to DEM -breathing by then but not too happy with things. Mother still looked shocked but was well cared for by one of the nurses on the Code Team.

Being so close to a ward and not wanting to keep the door locked (although my predecessor did) we have had the occasional visit from a patient who is confused about where he lives. I was tempted to lock the door when one of our patients, who wasn't too happy about being in hospital,decided he would make us jump a bit by roaring like a lion every now and then and thumping the panel between the lifts. Quite unnerving and not good when you are trying to have a quiet cup of green tea!

And finally, just to complete the picture...we have to avoid the obstacles placed in front of our door on a regular basis. The attendants' room is close to us as well and, of course, they like to have the wheelchairs close by -they (the wheelchairs) live outside our office. It's a good idea to open the door and check before stepping out - unless you want to end up in a wheelchair!
So...what's your work environment? As interesting as ours?

I'm going to bed now. Our makeshift screen means we can leave the balcony door open - so we may be cool enough to sleep tonight - I hope so, I get really cranky when I can't sleep and that, coupled with noisy visitors, might just be enough to tip me over!!

Karen

A New Day

It's Saturday. I slept in this morning until 0730. Usually I am up at 0500 but when my husband is away I tend to sleep poorly - or take a while to get off to sleep and that means I don't wake up as well in the morning. The dogs and I went for our walk taking our usual route. I fully expected to run into a number of people since we walked at a more civilised hour today, but we were the only ones out. Surprising given the beauty of the morning; a brilliant blue southern hemisphere sky flecked with wispy clouds and a bright, bold, golden sun pouring out warmth and light on a peaceful land where birds flit to and fro happily singing and calling to each other. Sometimes although there is no evidence of the vines the scent of jasmine and honeysuckle waft past. A wonderful way to start the day.

As I walked I thought about this land we live in - Australia and my little paradise, Tasmania. I thought about the blessings and priviliges we take for granted and accept as out right and I thanked God, who after all, is the Creator of all that we see and the giver of all blessings. It helped me begin to put everything back in perspective.

Perspective? Why do you need to put things back you might ask. Well I had a pretty ordinary week at work and, whether we like it or not, usually if things go wrong at work that tends to colour the way we see things in the other part of our life as well. I was letting work creep in to the rest of my life and destroy my peace. When that happens I fret and worry and ruminate on work to such as extent that I may as well be there because I can't focus on things at home. Not good! Hence the walk this morning, the thinking and the perspective thing. Work has its place, of course it does. However, it needs to stay there where it belongs and not be allowed to invade the other place where I find respite and renewal.

So I wanted to write about it because to me its important, and perhaps I may need to reread this occasionally to remind myself that there is more to life than work. The wind has come up again now and, although the sky is as brilliant as ever and the sun as bright it's not quite as peaceful outside as it was earlier. So I'm glad I am inside doing what I need to do here. The aroma of freshly baked chocolate mud cake causes the nose to twitch instead of the delicate fragrance of jasmine and honeysuckle and the sound of the washing machine has replaced the birdsong yet still there is a sense of being at peace - it's within me as is the sense of knowing that God has it all under control.

How can it be November 21st already? My friend Cecily came in this morning and chattered on about how tiring it is to try and come up with daily blogs. She is in some competition apparently. Not sure what the prize is if she wins but it must be worth it - or perhaps its just the challenge of doing it.

I was thinking about challenges recently. How often have I moved on from a job because I've no longer been challenged? Too often. I'm better at getting things up and running, making them happen than doing the sustaining. I get that restless, almost bored feeling when everything is ticking along. But sometimes we need to just 'keep on keeping on' to persevere, run the race etc!

It's not easy to keep on when bureaucracy and politisization dictate how and when, and at times, if, things are done. Nursing seems to be in the thick if it these days - well health generally is in the thick of it. It can be extremely frustrating trying to get the best outcome for our patients through ensuring our nurses are current with knowledge and skills when we are constantly told 'there isn't any money'.

About being current...George Siemans, who advocates Connectivism as a learning theory for the digital age, says we need effective learning representative of what learners require in order to stay current today and it needs to be effective, relevant, sustainable learning. Siemans also says that ineffective models of learning function are not noticed for their weakness when they are not under pressure. But, when the climate of knowledge and information changes, then the weaknesses become pronounced. The climate we are in at the moment is showing up the weaknesses in our current models of learning. So, I thought, what does this mean for nurses in the hospital setting and their on-going learning? What does it mean for me in my role?

This can remain a frustration and can be seen as part of that sustaining mode OR it can be seen as a challenge! Nurses are good at taking on challenges. We are also good at being very creative with very little. So...my goal for next year is to work on putting together a professional development and education plan that encourages and facilitates effective, relevant, sustainable learning! How am I going to do that you ask? I'll let you know. I was up for a few hours in the early hours one morning last week and spent the time doing a Mind Map. Today I need to take that to the Senior Nurse Group and sell my plan - or at least discuss my thoughts since I don't yet have a plan to sell.

So it looks like I'll be here for a while now that the challenge has come back in to the equation. I'll let you know how today goes when I next post :o).

Blogging - getting started

This morning I opened the latest Medscape Newsletter and clicked on a link to an article about Kim who hosts "Emergiblog". As I read the articleI started thinking about nurses and blogging. A colleague of mine, who has a blog called 'nursereflections' is one of very few nurses I know of who do blog. I read her blog quickly this morning and was impressed by the depth of reflection evident in what she writes.
A a nurse educator I am constantly disheartened by the response of nurses to the suggestion that they reflect on their practice and learn from this so that they can improve and continue to grow professionally and, hopefully, personally. So when I read nursereflections and the article about Kim I was encouraged.
This is a short post as I have to get back to work. But I thought that setting up my own blog would be a good way of getting in touch with other nurse educators, or those who aren't educators, and sharing reflections about our work and ourselves. who knows?? It may help us grow too.